February 4, 2005

• Cut-Align-Staple-Cut-Align-Staple-Cut-Align-Staple

  
  

  There are a few phrases an agent can say to make an actor wince.  “We’re letting you go.”  “Your show’s been canceled.”  And what happened to me a few days ago, “We need more headshots.”  Doh!  Then 30 minutes later, my other agents call and say the same thing.  Doh!  Doh!

  
  

  I mean, it’s definitely a good thing because it means your agents are submitting you if they’re running out of your photos.  Actually, it’s a great test when trying out a new agent: Give him/her about 50 headshots and see how long it takes ‘em to go through them all.  If they ask for more within a few months, they’re submitting you pretty frequently.  But if it’s been a year and they’ve still got plenty… then it’s time to move on. 

  
  

  It only makes me wince because it means having to do the following:  

  
  

  STEP 1) Make 150 copies of my resume. 

  
  

  STEP 2) Cut the 8 1/2 ” x 11″ paper down to 8″ x 10″ with a paper cutter that can only handle 5 sheets at a time.

  
  

  STEP 3) Attach the 8″ x 10″ headshot and resume together (now the same size), both facing out, with a single staple on top. 

  
  

  Do not staple the top and bottom corners.  Casting people flip through these photos in a pile very quickly and if their fingernail gets caught on a staple, guess whose photo is smiling back at them when they’re all bleeding and pissed off?

  
  

  Do not glue them together because casting folks will want to tear off the resume and just hang your photo on their boards after you’ve been cast. 

  
  

  Do not directly print your resume on the back of the photo because then you can’t update new credits without trashing the photo.  You can use different colored/bonded paper if you want but it’s really just a waste of time and money.  K.I.S.S. – Keep it Simple, Silly.  One staple through the middle-top will suffice nicely.

  
  

  

  
  

  STEPS 4 -150) Repeat 150 times. 

  
  

  It’s not hard but the repetitiveness reminds me of those days in college interning and doing mindless photocopying, stuffing envelopes, etc.

  
  

  Basically, representing everything that made me never to want to work in an office setting ever again. 

  
  

   

  
  

  But when you’re at a higher-level agency, they will usually update your resume on their database and attach it as your photo is sent out for submissions.  So you only need to provide them with a stack of photos, like so (right). 

  
  

  And when you’re at the really top agencies, they don’t even have headshots or resumes of their clients because their thinking is, “If we represent them, you already know who they are and what they’ve done.”  I won’t name any agency names but one’s such initials are: CAA.    

  
  

  The former stack of photos was for my commercial agency.  Commercials are cast very quickly and directors don’t really care about updated credits so much. 

  
  

  Whereas the latter pile was for my theatrical agent (Film /TV) where the latest projects you’ve been on will be of interest to producers/casting people.  Can you tell which pile is which (above)?  Did the stacks of staples fanning up the photos give it away?  

  
  

  But even though my theatrical agency types up my resumes, every now and then I still ask to see what their version of my resume looks like in order to proof-read for project errors or even worse… typos. 

  
  

  I was recently in a casting office and was appalled to see sitting on the desk: Britney Spears’ demo reel of her hosting duties on “Saturday Night Live” labeled: “Brittany Spears” — who incidentally is repped by the aforementioned agency above and hence responsible for typing up that label.  (But they’re also repping the script I co-wrote, so I can’t knock ‘em too much.)

  
  

  So it’s a good lesson on why it’s important to be hands on about everything–your photos, resumes, website, etc…because no one’s going to work harder for you, than you.  You’re the boss of this company.

  
  

  I think it’s actually more of a headache the more people in the mix hired or assigned to do things because of all the checking up you’ll have to do on all of them.  You know those actors on E!’s “True Hollywood Story” who have no clue how their managers ran off with all their money?  It all started by giving up a little control here and a little control there.  So if you can help it, don’t start in the first place. 

  
  

  But I just had to write an entry detailing the whole assembly stapling/resume process.  Because it is such a rite of passage that all actors at one point in their careers have gone through.  My photos may have changed over time but the cutting down of paper and stapling is still the same– and in doing so instantly brings me back to those days starting out 8 years ago. 

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