Know When to Fold 'Em

Well after 5 weeks of relaxing, I'm back in the saddle again about to start a role on "Without A Trace" next week.  It's a well written character playing the fiance of the episode's missing girl and I have a good scene with Anthony LaPaglia.

I've had the luxury of being able to "pass" on a few projects in between "The Gene Generation" up until now -- but only because I've been working fairly consistently lately and don't desperately need the dough; otherwise it might be a different story.  

One role was a gangster for a TV show.  A part of me just didn't want to portray yet another Evil Asian "Outsider" but the other part of me just knew that I was not the "gangsta type". 

I'd simply look asinine trying to pull off lines like, "This ain't fair, yo!" (an actual line, btw).  I know, I know, there's something to be said for "stretching out" but not for something like this.  It was a straight up, conventional, obligatory "Chinatown Gang" episode.

Another was for a role on a new sitcom for the UPN.  I knew where the jokes were intended to be, but the lines just weren't funny... at all.

I kept trying to work on the lines but to no avail.  I figured if I can't laugh at these lines, how am I supposed to make someone else laugh at them?

But this screening process all started a few years ago when a director wanted to meet me for the musical, "Pacific Overtures" that he was putting up on Broadway. 

I kept telling my agent, "I can sing and hold a tune, but I'm not a singer."  But my agent insisted that since they specifically requested for me (the director must've been a "BLT" fan), it would be prudent to accept the appointment.   I was even informed by the casting director that I could just sing "Happy Birthday" if I wanted to.  "Okey-dokey, that's what I'll do," I thought.

So I went to the audition.  Signed in and sat down.  Then lo and behold, I hear these powerful singing voices just BLASTING through the walls.  I'm talking about being able to actually feel the vibrations from their voices hitting me square in the chest --  through the wall!  I felt totally out of my element, probably like a reality star at an acting audition.  

When it was my turn to audition, I entered the room and faced a panel of 5 people behind a table and a piano, ala "American Idol" style.  The piano player asked, "Do you have your sheet music?" 

"Huh?", I thought.  "Um, I'm singing Happy Birthday, " I replied.  I was then instructed to sing and the piano player would follow in my key.

Halfway through the song, I realized, "Who should I sing Happy Birthday to when 'Happy Birthday, dear... (fill in name here)'... comes along?"  So after directing the birthday wish to the casting director, I was asked to sing it again in the key of  "G".

"Huh?" 

Total disaster.  Any respect for my performance in "BLT" from this director was now long gone.

So in short, what I garnered from that experience was:  If the material doesn't speak to/or connect with you -- don't go in.  It's better to not been seen at all than to be seen badly.  You don't have to go in for everything... advice I should've heeded a few months ago before auditioning for FOX's "Kitchen Confidential" and looking like an idiot in front of Darren Star ("90210", "Melrose Place" and "Sex and the City") -- but that's a story for another day.   

Another Puzzle... and some of this and a little of that....

Here's another pieced together mosaic/puzzle of a different sort.   

Hawaiian Tile artist Robert Voglund completed this pool for Pixar's President, Dr. Ed Catmull, featuring characters from 'Finding Nemo.

Although I sure hope Catmull doesn't have any little kids because that mural of Bruce the Shark would stop any 3 year-old in his/her tracks.  I mean, look at that thing -- it looks 3D!   No way any kid is dippin' any toes in that pool.

As you might be able to tell from the past 3 entries:  I've been unemployed. 

Not that I'm complaining or anything, because I was simply fried after shooting 4 projects within a 2-month span but you do notice the lackadaisical turn the entries have taken, yes? 

I've just been spending an inane amount of time on-line these past few weeks, just searching for... stuff.  Random, cool stuff like the pool above... well, that and putting my house on the market, making yard sale signs and getting ready to move the family into the new house.  I think I can stand a few more weeks of just chillin' and then I'm ready to get back into the saddle. 

Speaking of which -- since the inception of my career in '97, I've kept a running spreadsheet of all my projects.  The sheet tracks everything from my auditions/booking ratio, salary, number of days between each project, how many of them were films/tv shows/commercials, etc.  That way I have a tangible layout of how the career's going when I annually reassess things and set goals for the following year.  And this time, I noticed something as I was updating the chart:  In the 8 years I've been working as an actor, I've only worked 211 days. 

A conventional job, with 2 weeks of vacation a year (toss in about 10 days in misc. holidays) works out to be about 240 working days.  That's nuts! 

I haven't even worked a conventional year yet! 

Eh, that tidbit probably did nothing to help the "lazy bum/get a real job" profile actors always get.  But you know what?  I don't think people were put on this planet to work that many days out of the year. 

Everyday for the past 4 weeks, I've been able to see my daughter smile at me when she first wakes up in morning at 11am (the girl can sleep for 11 to 12 hours straight--like father, like daughter).  Stuff like that makes me feel so fortunate having an actor's schedule, it totally makes up for the lack of financial security.  This quote sums it all up: "On your deathbed,  you'll never say, 'I wish I spent more time at the office.'"

Although, I have to say one thing about being employed -- it does keep you more focused.  Because I am all over the place with this entry.

And in a related note to the first part of the entry...  I wanted to acknowledge a wonderful artist who died in a car accident last Tuesday.  Joe Ranft was one of the creative forces at Pixar and served as the company's first Head of Story but also provided the wonderful voices behind: Wheezy the Penguin in "Toy Story 2", Heimlich the Caterpillar in "A Bug's Life" and most recently Jacques, the cleaner fish in "Finding Nemo". 

I was always in awe watching this guy work behind the mic during the behind-the-scene featurettes on Pixar's DVDs.  So, thank you Mr. Ranft.  Your talents definitely made this world a better place. 

In lieu of flowers, the Ranft family respectfully requests that donations be made to: 'The Joseph Henry Ranft Memorial Fund' c/o Pixar Animation Studios, 1200 Park Ave., Emeryville, CA 94608

"Finally, I'm a beautiful butterfly...

from way up here you all look like little ants!"

The House of... Lego

If you liked the last Lego accomplishment, you'll dig this church someone built! (Thanks Christie!)

Man, is this going to piss off worthwhile / intrinsic value, achievement oriented reader: akindofblue (see comment page of previous entry)  Hee, hee.

How long to build it? It was about 1 1/2 years of planning, building and photographing.

How many pieces of LEGO to build it?   More than 75,000

How big is it?   About 7 feet x 5 1/2 feet x 2 1/2 feet 

How many LEGO people does it seat? 1,372

How many windows?   3,976

It features a balcony, a Narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics, a nave, a baptistery, an altar, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ. 

Just some wicked, wicked building skills.  Although working to build Jesus nailed to a cross must've been a bit strange.

Man, first off:  The little LEGO homes I use to build were multi-colored because I never had more than a dozen of each colored brick. 

And secondly: Whatever happened to starting off with that really flat green piece (which of course, served as the "grass")?

Someone has to put this church to use in a stop-animation movie. It's a ready-made set... stand the priest in the center, line the congregation in the center to receive communion, etc.    

CHILD'S PLAY

Every once in awhile, something comes up that makes me feel intellectually inferior.  Here's one of them.

 Apparently, this guy decided to build a machine out of LEGOS to solve a Rubik's Cube --  He even wrote the recognition software and everything -- just for fun!

Now, I don't want to hear comments like: "This guy's got too much time on his hands" or "He probably has no life", etc -- Because man, who cares?  Could YOU do that if you wanted to?  Don't dismiss the work. You've gotta appreciate the skills on face value alone.

And then this guy saw the Lego/Rubik's Cube-Solving-Machine above and then decided to build an actual working Rubik's Cube out of LEGOS! 

Umm, I once got a 4.0 one semester in college...

We need to get these guys on that Cancer and AIDS problem... stat!      

Will the Real Word please stand up?

After posting that photo of Kane Hodder's "Kill" tattoo from the previous entry, I kept thinking about how much that sucker must've hurt. 

And then I thought, "What if the tattoo hurt so much -- that it never really got fully completed?" 

So I immediately began flipping through Webster's Dictionary and came up with three possibilities. 

Perhaps Kane originally commissioned the word:

Killarney [ki lar'ne], n.  Lakes of, three lakes in the SW Republic of Ireland. (Maybe Kane spent an unforgettable summer in Ireland, in which he partook the company of a young lass and sang sonnets to her whist sitting on the docks of the nearby trio of lakes.  But after the buzzing of the first four letters, he bailed and ran to the nearest icepack.)

OR PERHAPS --

Killifish [kil'e fish'], n. 1. any small freshwater fish of the family Cyprinodontidae, used as bait and for mosquito control 2. Also called top-minnow.  Any of several small North American freshwater killifish.

(It would make sense that if Kane was an avid fisherman, he would prefer tattooing the word of the popular bait instead of an image of one -- thinking it would hurt a lot less.  But alas, in mid-word, the pain was still too great that the tattoo artist was forced to stop prematurely.)

OR PERHAPS --

Killiecrankie [kil'e krang'ke], n. a mountain pass in central Scotland, in the Grampians. 

(Maybe Kane wanted to document conquering the Scottish trail during his travels.  However, he decided to throw in the towel after weakly asking the tattoo artist, "How many more letters?" -- to which the response was, "9".)

But I suppose just like the age old mysteries of the Pyramids, Stonehenge and How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop -- the world just may never know. 

But then again, maybe he really did mean to have the word "Kill" inked into his bottom lip from the start -- to which means that I'm pretty much dead when word gets back to him that I wrote all of the above.  

And for those who care, my recurring arc on Season 2 of  "Tru Calling" is available today exclusively at Best Buy.  It contains the final 6 episodes -- which includes the final unaired Christmas episode (Juicy Tidbit: Pretty much all of us were filled with a glass of red wine during the last shot of that Christmas episode as a last hurrah out into cancellation.  No one was drunk or anything but it was a bit weird drinking on the job -- but honestly, what was FOX gonna do?  Fire us?  Heh, heh.)  

Kane knows Horror

This was posted on the "Hatchet" journals by one of the stars, Kane Hodder (aka "Jason" from the "Friday the 13th" films) after he saw a rough cut of the film.

I just thought it was promising because this guy's seen it all.  And if he got excited about the film... well, as the entry title says, if anyone knows the genre -- it's him.

Although I agree with my wife's observation when she said, "I've never read anything that mentioned 'kills' in it so many times"... but then again, the guy does have the word -- tattoed on his inside bottom lip! 

Posted: 6.27.2005
KANE HODDER  Victor Crowley

Hey everybody. Kane Hodder here.  Sorry I didn't make any journal entries while we were shooting, but it was a pretty exhausting show for me.  Fun as hell though.

I tried to create a different type of character than you have ever seen before. Between Adam Green [the director] and me, I think you will agree we succeeded in doing just that.

Ok, now the good part. I went to the editing suite on Friday and I watched the entire movie with Adam, the composer and the editor. Unbelievable! It is f****** great!!!  I don't even know what to say.  THIS IS THE BEST HORROR MOVIE I HAVE EVER BEEN INVOLVED WITH!  That is the absolute truth.  I hope you guys know that I wouldn't just say that for publicity either.  I have never done that.

The kills in "Hatchet" are fantastic. You know that I love to be creative with the kills.  I think it's really important.  What really amazed me was that the kills were already great as written.  I usually use my sick imagination to add to each kill.  This time Adam beat me to it.  The kills are so violent and creative.  That's what we fans love.

My favorite kill that I ever did in a film up until now was the sleeping bag in Friday 7.  What made it so great was the audience reaction to it in the theater. Cheering!  I have never seen that reaction to one of my kills since.  What makes me so excited is that several of the kills in "Hatchet" will bring that same response back.  Cheering.  I love that s***.  I guarantee you will love the kills.  I have never said that before.

The acting performances are incredible too.  There is not one weak performance in the film.  I know that sounds impossible for a horror movie, but it's true.  Trust me, ok?  You will enjoy every character in the film. And even care about them. The entire cast is great.  

Even though the acting, the violence and the story are great, that isn't even the best part of the movie.  The dialogue between the characters is my favorite thing about the movie.  It is so well written.  In most horror movies, we are used to having to sit through boring, meaningless scenes of sh***y dialogue between the kills.  Not this time.  Like I said, the dialogue is my favorite part of the movie.  It's hard to imagine I'm saying this but some of the dialogue scenes remind me so much of a Tarantino scene.  I'm not kidding! I know I probably sound like an ass**** gushing all this stuff about "Hatchet" when it's not my normal demeanor.  It's just that I have never been so happy with a movie that I'm in before. No bullsh**.  You will love this movie as much as I did.  And yes, it will get a theatrical release.  I guarantee that.  Distribution companies would have to be morons to not see the value in this movie.

If you fans have ever believed anything I have said before, please believe that "Hatchet" will amaze you.  In all aspects.  All I can say is that it's f******* great. You'll see. I stake my reputation on it. You have NEVER heard me say that before. I really can't wait for you guys to see it.

Victor Crowley lives.......................

-Kane

My Tally:8 "kills"and 2 "kill" -- What'd you get?  Regardless, if he's excited... I'm excited.

Extension-Free

During the midpoint of "TGG", I did have the extensions taken out because I was a groomsman in a wedding.  But since they had to go back in the following day, the joy was short-lived.  But I did get a great picture with Avery, where we are sportin' the same smile.  Man, I'd be so pissed if this shot had me with my Flock of Seagulls 'do.   

And segueing into another Avery shot I was excited about -- because she finally grew into this Supergirl onesie I had specially made for her by her Uncle Ryan of BlackLava. 

I'd originally wanted to bring her home in it but she was still way too small.  At the time, who knew baby's clothes had different sizes?  0 to 3 months.  3 to 6 months.  What's the difference?  Small is small, right?  She's got another one waiting for her when she gets bigger -- a white "S" and pink background on a white onesie. 

On a side note, the director of "The Gene Generation" is now hooked on Xanga and has started his own site: (xanga.com/arkgoth) with reflections on the shoot as well as ongoing updates of the production.  Should be a good resource for those interested in directing. 

This guy's got a very stylized sense of direction, always knew what he wanted and was able to adapt & adjust quickly even when things went awry (losing locations/actors, etc). 

I've personally observed that the inexperienced or uninspired directors I've worked with, tend to just go with the standard "safe shots":  Shooting a wide master shot and then covering the close-ups from ALL possible angles (which takes forever to shoot) in the hopes of figuring out how to piece it all together in the editing suite.  Not the case with this guy.  Also on the main site, he's got two different teaser trailers up.  Teaser 1.  Teaser 2.   

Q & A

Here are a few questions recently sent my way via the main website that I figured might be on the minds of some readers interested in finding an Agent or internship with a production company.  (Plus, it saves me having to think of material for another entry.)

Q:  How did you go about evaluating which talent agency was right for you?  On my most recent trip to L.A., I stopped by Samuel French and picked up a copy of the Hollywood edition of "The Agencies".  There are so many agencies that are opening and closing every month.  Did you just sign with the first agency that wanted to represent you?  Or did you wait for a few offers and then decide?  I read your faq about choosing representation, but do you have any other tips/lessons learned?  Thanks in advance for all of your help!   - Andrew

A:  Check out a journal entry I did on March 16, 2005 on a book Tony Martinez wrote called, "An Agent tells All."   He helps in documenting the process--so does, "Your Film Acting Career" by MK Lewis.

Basically I went through "The Agencies" and submitted to those that said they were open to submissions and claimed to be respected by the casting community, etc.  There's another book, "The Right Agent" that delves more into the levels of each agency to help figure out which ones to submit to.  I can tell you now, if you're just starting out, do not submit to: CAA, William Morris, UTA, Endeavor, Paradigm or ICM -- you can if you want, but more often than not, you'll be wasting your time.  They rep the big, big guys.  And even if you do sign with them, you don't want to be buried there when starting out anyway.

When I sent out submissions in '96 (75 of them), I had 2 agencies that bit - I went with the one I connected best with.  Take into consideration their ratio of agents to clients: some have under 100 clients and some have 1000 - obviously there's less of a chance to get lost in a smaller agency.  Take notice if their phones are ringing.  Is the office nice?  Ask how do they see you?  How did they treat you -- All these things are little clues as to how their business is conducted and if you want to do business with them. Chances are, your first agent will not be the agent you stay with 95% of the time for your career -- you just need someone who has access to the roles to submit on your behalf and be excited about you --so yes, sign with whichever SAG Franchised Agency wants you at first (hopefully you'll have more than 1 to choose from).  And then as you build your resume and demo reel, you can be more choosy later on.  But remember: an agent only gets a 10% commission because he/she technically does 10% of the work -- that means you've still got to keep hustling and pick up the remaining 90% after obtaining an agent; a lot of actors forget that part.

 

Q:  I'm very interested in getting into the filmmaking business. Consequently, I've been searching for internships on film sets or whatnot that I'd be able to do in order to get a more hands-on experience but none has turned up so far. I'm not sure if this is the right
approach to trying to find one but I'd like to hear some advice on how to get in contact with such companies or productions.  As I have no connections to the film industry, it's very difficult for me to find anything Hollywood-related so I'd really like to hear some
advice you have on getting into contact with filmmakers and such.  Thank You.  - Jane

 

A:  Jane, getting an internship is fairly easy just because production companies just love having a slave doing any and everything they need for no money.  But that's how you pay your dues.  If you get a full-time position from it (because they can't NOT pay you year-round) just re-evaluate your situation every 6 months to a year to see if there is the possibility of advancement.  I know of people working as assistants for over 10 years and have never moved up.

Get a book called the Hollywood Creative Directory, it's a good $60, but it has the addresses to every production company out there -- then shoot out a resume and cover letter (no longer than 5 sentences) to them.  Make it catchy & clever but tasteful as well, so it stands out from the 100's of other letters they'll be receiving each week. 

 

Remember that having no "Hollywood-related connections" is never an excuse.  Most of the people in this business started out that way.  There is always some way to bridge that gap and it's usually obtainable through the right literature, it was for me when I came out here not knowing a soul.  Good luck!

"TGG" Pics

At a certain point in "TGG", my character cleans up and I wind up wearing this pristine all-white outfit.  And of course, on the same day I switch costumes -- what's being served for lunch?

Yep, Pasta with Red Sauce.

Through visualization and foresight of all the potential slurping/spilling/bumping mishaps, I thought it better to strip down to eat lunch in my boxers.. all in the privacy of my trailer, of course.  

And here's some wallpaper that the director came up with for my character, Jackie.  Plus a teaser of the film.

Then at one point in the shoot while waiting for another lighting set up, the hair and makeup crew got inspired to make an action figure out of my character from a Happy Meal "Sharkboy" toy. 

You know you've made it when you have hair extentions glued to someone else's action figure.

And speaking of hair extentions, the one thing I was most looking forward to was getting rid of the suckers (although I have to admit, they look pretty damn cool in the wallpaper and movie -- I haven't had "hair shadow" on my face for a long time). 

You've heard that brushing/combing your hair regularly is good for the scalp because it distributes the oils, right?  I so can vouch for that.  Since the extentions were latched onto my own hair, the real stuff never got to move around at all and I started to have festering breakouts on my scalp.  Even the best shampoo job didn't stop it.

So seeing each bastard lock of hair, lying on the table when they got taken out was the crowning achievement of the film for me.

However on the last day, there was talk of possible re-shoots to get some inserts of stuff we had to cut out because of scheduling.  And then more talk of getting together to shoot stills for the one sheet (the poster).  And I could almost swear I heard the pile extentions taunt in high-pitched voices, "Oh, we'll be back.  We'll be back." 

"The Even Faster & The Most Furious-est"

In response to the latest slew of e-mails I've been receiving: "Yes" -- of course I'm aware that Justin Lin's directing the next installment of "The Fast and The Furious".   And "No", I cannot 'hook you up' or put in a good word for you -- the poor guy's been hit up by everyone and their mother since this project was announced. 

However, if you'd like to be proactive and make it happen on your own merits; like every actor should, here's the casting info along with script pages detailing how to put yourself on tape and audition.

Some quick advice: After picking one of the three roles you'd be right for: 1) Take at least a day to learn your lines -- it definitely helps to have it memorized.  But if you must have the script in hand, at least make sure your face isn't buried/covered by the script.  The technique is to glance at the material, look up from the page and then say your line.  The casting people want to see what's going on in your eyes.  2) Don't do too much blocking (moving around).  But at the same time, don't be planted in one place.  3) Having a decent actor off-camera reading the lines opposite you in the scene can only help -- but don't have him/her on-camera.  This is your audition tape, not theirs.  Really listen to your partner and react accordingly.  Don't just wait for your next line.  4) Only send in your one best take.  5) Make sure the lighting is good and the sound audible.  

The deadline is July 29th -- Break a leg.  

2.) Please use either mini dv or 1/2” VHS tape in NTSC format.  If possible, enclosing a Polaroid or other photo is helpful (unfortunately, neither tape nor picture will be returned).